(no subject)

[onlyloversleftalive]

alright i take back what i said yesterday about my prof because whenever i type past 9 pm that's when the thoughts kick in which makes me super anxious for no reason. today i had my class and we had to get into groups which also makes me anxious because i want to be able to intellectually contribute to the conversation while also not being nervous or off-putting but i ended up getting the people i wanted to group with anyway out of sheer RNG. we all ended up paired well because these guys were obviously of the transgendered nature which made me comfortable, and they even complemented my name saying it suits me and also how i in fact give off she/he vibes (after i told them my pronouns). i know one of them is they/them but i don't know what the other pronouns is so i felt bad when "she" slipped out and i hadn't even asked. generally, i wait until someone tells me their pronouns or i result to default first glance status, but i had known the other ones because of the roster.

(midway writing this i decided to check the roster and their preferred name isn't on there but i can assume its them because they indeed use they/them and now i feel bad).

anyway, we had a great time in our group and came up with a lot of good stuff. it was great being able to finally talk and express myself with others who are like me plus how they interact with our prof, who was sparring some glances our way every time we semi got off track just yapping. when one of my group members mentioned my name and said it reminds them of inferno, i told them that was the inspiration but also from devil may cry, to which my prof (who's a gamer nerd too) smirked. i even tried to throw in a skyrim reference for him to hear but i think it got overshadowed by our entire yap session. our yapping might have hindered us in the long wrong because when we had to report back, we were a little frazzled, but we persevered nonetheless and still have next monday to finish our discussion. i also told one of my group members about struggling with starting my close reading and they told me to not stress too much and to focus on a certain part i liked which made me feel better about starting it. but i also have a lot of catching up to do in my philosophy class.

now im just waiting to go back to campus for my film class and hopefully not be utterly destroyed by into the wild. i was also supposed to work tonight and ended up calling out because i am way too tired and my knee is in pain.